My life, an Irritation to my eyes.

Last Post: September 23rd, 2009

I haven't been updating my blog since. No time, no interest. But now there is, MUCH interest. To show people how wrong an almost "perfect" life actually is.

PART I

Saturday, December 12, 2009
It was a fight, like any other. There had been millions of them in the past. Everyday almost. It was no big deal, I was used to it. I could be really mean some times, but it takes two to tango, as I am sure you have heard that saying before. In this battle, it took three. 2 against 1. I was never abused, physically. I put off the same vibes I was served. Most of the time they were negative. I did the odd amount of name calling, throw a tantrum here and there. Like any other child would. I am fourteen years old, a big baby. I don't cry a lot, as a rule. I was never told NOT to cry, I just feel the need to. It must not be healthy, I have been told. My body just doesn't feel the need to let salt water run down my face, to hit the floor, my pillow, or my latest lyrics. Sometimes I WANT to cry. Like now, perhaps. My life is sad, but my eyes don't believe it.

I can't quite remember what we were fighting about this time. I ride to my friends house that he didn't feel the need to give. Or was it my sarcastic attitude towards my Mother? The point was it was a fight, and it wasn't new to my mother, my sisters, my brothers', or my eyes. The fact, is that they needed to stop. The fights, that is. My step-dad said what he usually does, "Get her out of the house or I am going to kick her out with my own foot!" and, "Call the God-damn CAS!" Except this time, my Mom actually DID call the CAS. I didn't think anything of it at the time. It was a Saturday, her and a Social Worker named Jess were to meet Tuesday while I was in school. I completely forgot they were to meet that day, actually, I forgot they were meeting at all.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Today was the torch relay in Picton. Every school in Prince Edward County was going to be there, along with a few locals. I had an awesome day! It was actually so fun. I came home, excited to tell my mom about the festivities. I came in and went on the computer for a few minutes, update my facebook, twitter, etc... She walked in the door, I began to tell her about my day. The first thing out of her mouth were words I didn't want to hear, "Brandi, Jess, the CAS worker I met with today..." All ready I knew this conversation was not going to end well, her tone of voice set it off right a way. She finished her sentence with "...and she thinks I should enter you in a parent relief program." No, no no no no no no no. She tried to explain, but I wasn't listening, I began to scream then. "How could you do this to me!? You don't love me!? It's HIM isn't it! HE wants me gone! He told you to do this to me!"

We fought that night and the next...
I was to go to the Children's Aid Society on Thursday, December the 17th, and sign papers agreeing to go into foster care for a week or so. I'm not sure that my mom got the fact, that I would be angrier when I came home from foster care. What child would not be? I didn't think that was so hard to understand... Is it?

So I've decided not to go any further into detail.
But I have made a decision that I think will be the best for me.

Things are complicated and I haven't been informed of many things but as of now, February 1st 2010, I am to go to Honeywell House. A group home for kids my age.

I think this this is extremely stupid.

Pardon

my

french.

My eldest sister moved in with her boyfriend as soon as she finished high school, no questions asked.

My second eldest sister moved in with her boyfriend at the age of 16.

And then there is me. Pushed out of my home by my mother and step-father who simply just, needed a break. I wonder sometimes if it's possible that it's Impossible to live with my mother... If it's her, or the men she chooses to be in "love" with. I mean, it's clear me and my step-father don't get along. But did My Eldest sister move out because she couldn't stand my father, him not being her biological father? Or did my other sister move out at 16 because she didn't get along with my step-father as well? I also wonder, if the age of residing in a different home is decreasing, what age will my younger sister move out? her being only 14 months younger than me, or my brother him being 11 YEARS younger than me. All of the things that worry me in life are left to question. I'm sick of questioning every thought. Like the other day, I was visiting with my mother, showing her a few dresses I was looking into for my semi-formal at school. She kept asking me "What if you can't go?" or "What if you're in Honeywell by then?". This made me ask her "Why would you do that?". Why would my own mother who should be getting excited and asking me, what shoes I'm going to wear or, how am I going to fix my hair.. Instead make me question my feelings towards the event. Why would she let me get excited or happy, and then crush everything I was looking forward to by making me question it?

Did my sisters go through the same thing that I did? Did they move out to escape from it?
I couldn't ask them, I felt like they were on HER side in this situation. Nothing makes sense to me.

My life has changed me, but from this moment on, I am making a few changes to myself.
Thus, brings on my final 10 Goals in life:

1. I AM enrolling in the arts program for Centennial Secondary School this coming March

2. I AM finishing high school

3. I AM going to Humber College for Photography

4. I AM going to be successful

5. I AM going to lose 20 pounds this summer

6. I AM going to do something spontaneous and fun this year

7. I AM going to get a job this summer

8. I AM going to get 1 piercing and 1 tattoo this year

9. I AM going to be Successful in all that I do

10. I AM getting emancipated the DAY I turn 16 years old.

I will update my blog and the 2 readers I have each time I complete one of these things,
some may take a while....

Some may be tomorrow.


Brandi.xoxo

Everyday I See My Dream

(really really over due post... written a very long time ago)

I haven't written on this in a long time, I am great at keeping promises and holding secrets. But a schedual (except school) doesn't really work for me all the time. So I came home today and everything seemed normal. Then I saw it, the platinum pink DS sitting on my kitchen table. This could only mean one thing. The infamous Sheryl Sheckler was at my house, once again. My mother babysits Sheryl for her friend, Rhalade Sheckler. Now, once apon a time, Sheryl was a stealing liar, she still is but my mother likes to insist that she has since then changed. Nobody really changes, they just put a costume on. For liars, it's Halloween 24/7. Sheryl must really like Halloween. I know I am some what hard on her, but if she wasn't such a condisending bitch all the time I would have no reason to hate her, plus the fact that she trys too hard and loves telling people how fond I am of her, and that we hang out all the time. At her school, my name seems to be pretty hilarious. Un finished...

I have such a big and loving family!

The picture above includes my sisters, my brother, and myself.

Pictures Photographed By Jenna Simpson, check out her website & blog:

- http://www.aboutimagephotography.com/

- http://www.aboutimage.blogspot.com

Brandi xo.

Yes Man.

What Is A Blog?
What are you expected to say on a blog? I mean, of course it's somewhere you can post things about your life, your business, books your reading, or even things like parenting and baking. Hoping somewhere someone will accidentally type in your address and perhaps read what you've wrote. Maybe they think you're charming and funny, maybe they think the fact you even have a blog is pointless. But is there really a point in having a blog? Yes. A blog is somewhere you can post whatever you want, but lets not be to explicit here. Definition of Blog: a blog, (short for weblog) is a personal online journal that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption. Point blank. So this should be easy right?

On My Blog:
On my blog I will post various subjects such as:
-Photos
-Books
-Facts about my life and others around me
(All names will be confidential except for my own for safety reasons)
-Videos
-Links
-TV
-Music
-Movies
-Electronic Devices
-Celebrities
-Reviews
-and other fun stuff!

First Blog Post!
Finally! Let's get down to business.

School
A few weeks ago now, I started my very first day at a new school, high school to be exact. I am now in grade 9, have you ever heard the term "miner niner" ? Kind of ridiculous right? Well, that would be me. Now, seeing as two of my sisters (I have three) have all ready gone to this same high school I know my way around pretty well. I've been late a few times due to problems with my lock, but I have a new one so things have smoothed out great with that fact! I am actually thinking about staying at _________(insert high school name here) instead of going to a school with a GREAT art program. But I am still very unsure. I have a lot of time to make up my mind, but I definitely think I am going to pursue my choice in a career of Veterinarian Technician. I'll keep you updated ;)

Home
So things have been going good at home, of course it's not perfect. It is better then it has been in the past so that's good enough for me! At the moment there isn't much to post about my family so keep interest and believe me, something good will pop up!

Books
Book, Books, BOOKS! There are so many to choose from but there are a few that steal my interest. I usually read things like diaries, "based on a true story", girl problems, drama, or mystery/murder books. Right now I am on the verge of finishing one book to read yet another. The book I am trying to finish is called The Prey by Allison Brennan. The Prey is the first book of a murder/mystery/drama series that has no name.
Description on back cover: Rowan Smith is living in a borrowed Malibu beach house while her best selling novel is being made into a Hollywood movie. A former FBI agent with a haunted past, Rowan thinks she has outrun her demons. But fiction an reality collide when a dismembered body is found in Colorado: the real life victim has the same name, same occupation, and looks like a character in Rowan's novel. By the time the FBI, the LAPD, and her own private bodyguard gather around her, another person is killed - again, the murder ripped from the pages of Rowan's book. In the company of former Delta Force officer with secrets of his own, Rowan faces an excruciating dilemma: the only way to chase down the tormenting killer is by revisiting the darkness of her past - and by praying for some way out again.

Now that was a mouth full! After this book comes The Hunt and The Kill. Both very intriguing, fast-paced, and suspense full. I had no idea the books were a series and ended up reading the second book first. Oops! But it definitely did not ruin the first, so don't freak out if you're planning on reading it in the near future. The book I am reading after this is a book you might be familiar with because of the movie based upon it (and also the title of the post) I Love You, Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle. This book is not only hilarious from the very beginning but gives probably every graduating nerd or outcast hope and courage.
Description on back cover: Denis Cooverman wanted to say something really important in his high school graduation speech. So, in front of 512 and their 3,000 relatives, he announced: "I love you, Beth Cooper." It would have been such a sweet, romantic moment. Except Beth, the head cheerleader, has only the vaguest idea who Denis is. And Denis, the captain of the debate team, is so far out of her league he is barely the same species. And then there's Kevin, Beth's remarkably large boyfriend, who's in town on furlough from the United States Army. Complications ensue.
So far, 18 pages have been pretty funny so I am guaranteeing you will laugh your head off for the rest of the book. It's probably in my top 10 books of Wickedly funny instant classics category. Definitely something I would recommend.

Other Books I am Interested In are:
-The Twilight series
-The Diaries of Georgia Nicholsen
-Just Listen
-and anything by Judy Blume!

Videos
As I progress with my Blog I will post various videos that interest me, puzzle me, make me laugh, and videos that I think the public will like as well. Stay tuned...

Links
The links I provide you with will be connected with these subjects:
-My Friends or Family's Blogs
-Websites with posts about upcoming movies, books, live or TV shows, and events
-and Links with Links to other Links :)

TV
Right off the bat.
My Favourite shows are:
-One Tree Hill
-Gossip Girl
-90210
-Melrose Place
-America's Next Top Model
-The Beautiful Life

As things progress, I will post my opinions each week on the episode that played that day.

Electronic Devices
Everyday something new comes out, whether it's the new ipod nano with video capture, or even the smart board that can be located in schools all over. I will be commenting on whether or not I think the product of subject is a use full source for society today. Keep posted and find out whats the smartest and hottest find.

Movies
Movies come out like the sun, every single freaking day. I'll give reviews on the best choices, what to see, and what NOT to. This will save you spending 10 bucks or so on a movie ticket that ended up being a waste of you precious time. Or you could go ahead and see it for yourself, just in case you weren't sure I had the right idea about that certain movie, have fun!

Music
I will provide you with the hippest tracks to the hottest concerts and cd's that are flying off the racks. Keep posted..

Are We There Yet?
I will write a post on my blog every Monday of each week.
So that all about sums it up. I hope you like my blog!

Brandi xo.